well after 3 months of being back home, i'm finally posting this. i've been slowly writing and adding things to this post for a while, but now i'm finally ready to post it. a part of me didn't want to write this because i didn't really wanna face the reality of being back in the "real" world. having to deal with the stress of family, school, work, and a whole flood of other things. i liked the idea that i was on a trip, and wanted to keep my mentality as such.
but things changed, as they always do. and in this case, its for the better. so i'm home now ofically for 3 months. i've started summer school, i've gotten to my regular schedule at work, club has kicked back up again, i'm learning to balance social life and real life...all good things.
so what did i learn from this trip? more than i could have imagined. i spent one month traveling around, visiting friends, driving around, and thinking about life issues. i learned that God has thumb prints all over the place, and if we just take the time to see them, our lives will be all the better.
but that's pretty easy to say after doing a trip like this. i can easily be up on a "mountain top" but come right back to all my filth and get caught back up in it again.
the reality of it is, i'm a changed person. whether or not you've been able to see that in the last few months of being around me or not isn't really the point. truthfully, i was able to show how "good" of a christian i was before on the outside, but on the inside i was dying. for a while, i could put on a good facade, and believe what i was saying, and really try and live it out, but i was going about it in a way that neither was truthful or meaningful.
what is a christian? or better yet, what does it mean to be a follower of christ? when i first set off on this journey, i had a vision of what my trip would teach me, how it would pan out, and what i could take from it. but i had no clue that it would instill in me lifelong lessons. i just figured it would be a super "gnarly" trip in which i would have an amazing time, and do some soul searching along the way.
so back to the question...what does it mean to be a follower of christ? well if i had to say i learned one thing from this trip...i'd be a liar, because i learned a ton haha. but in all seriousness, here's a few things.
experiences. we all have them. good. bad. sad. one's that we remember for a lifetime. some that we wish to forget. others that strike emotion years later. a few that later in life have different meaning. the reality of it all is that we have a tendency to live by those experiences. its something we do as humans. not wrong, but here's the thing. as a christian, (to me at least), i don't think living solely by those experiences can push you closer to God. but learing from them, and using those experiences to seek out the Lord is something i think is big. because that's the ultimate goal right? to be so in tune with our maker that we spend every second of our lifetime intimately with Him? i think God gave us those experiences to show us what a real life with Him can look like and want more of it. those experiences can be driving and motivating factors to seek for something more.
what i think i've learned is that i can't look to find more experiences just to seek out God, because then i almost end up becoming somewhat of a "experience" junkie. just moving from one to the next. God calls us to do something bigger than that. He calls us to seek Him out. To me, God said "find out why you love those experiences so much sush. seek out the real meaning behind it." which is what i'm on an attempt to do now. and a journey that will keep me going the rest of my life.
it was easy for me to come home and ride out that "high" from my trip. you've read my blog. you've heard about the awesome things i've gotten to do. you've read about how God appeared in a million ways in my life. so what i ended up doing is riding that out. but ya know what? it led me nowhere. right back to where i was before i left. you know why? because i finally realized what's been missing from my life.
God.
sounds crazy right? all this time i talk about being a follower of God, reading my bible, having accountability. but you know what? it wasn't nearly as real as it should have been. which isn't wrong necessarily, because being a follower of Christ involves growth. constantly finding out new things, and making some amazing discoveries about what it means to followe the Lord. all my life i've been half in, half out. never truly giving myself up to what the Lord has to offer. and i've never been completely into letting Him change me, move in me, mold me to be the man he wants me to become. and that's what He wants. to have me fully. and i can finally and proudly say that i'll let Him in. fully. sweet right? its exciting. its fun. its the way life is meant to be lived.
quick sidenote-its not like the last year or so has been all fake, all i'm trying to say is that thru all the seasons i've had, when i hit bottom, there were opportunities for me to pull myself out of the slumps, but i didn't rely on the Lord enough, that's all :)
so that's one lesson. prepare to read on friends.
another thing i learned that's big for me: we can't always be on the mountain, because God calls us to the valley. what do i mean by this? well here's a few examples. first one is a practical one in my life. i've been on workcrew two times. gone to camp twice. gone as a leader three times. i've been on summerstaff once and am going again in a week. plus alot of other random weekends at camp. now, the typical thing for me to do is ride off of that "high" i get after coming back. and i try to ride that out, kinda like what i was saying earlier about experiences. i used feed off of that. i want more because we love it, and it makes me "feel" closer to God. great. no problem. it's true. that's exactly what it does. being in a community of believers, (and not just at camp) allows us to do that. we get to see what a clear picture of the kingdom looks like, so naturally it's where we want to stay. but God calls us back down again. He wants us to go back home to where we belong. where the "norm" of life is. what about the transfiguration on the mountain? in mark 9, it talks about how peter, james, and john went up to the mountain with jesus, and his clothes were white as could be, and elijah and moses appeared. Peter said "rabbi, it is good for us to be here, let us put up three shelters.." but they had to go back down to the valley. peter, a follower of jesus! even HE wanted to stay up on the mountain, i mean honestly, who wouldn't?? but God himself said to him, "this is my son, whom i love. listen to him." and of course jesus was all about being in the valley with the poor. heck, he was poor himself!
but i think it shows just how large the spectrum is with this. everyone wants to have that feeling of being on top of the world. the reality is, the broken, the hurt, the lost, and the weak are all in the valley. and i think God calls us into the valley more than the mountain. the mountain is for glimpses into what can be.
another amazing thing the Lord showed me is the importance of friends. obviously i couldn't have even done this trip without friends. i only paid for a hotel twice in an entire month. and that's because my friends were awesome enough to let me stay at their places. the best part? i'd say 90% of the people i stayed with i barely keep in touch with. and EVERYONE i met and stayed with during my trip was through younglife. people who genuinely loved the Lord and welcomed me as a friend after a long time. but that's what the bond of believers does! after not seeing people for close to a year, some not even in 3 years, i was able to call them up and hang out! friends are so important to us as people, and especially as believers. they help encourage us, carry our burdens, share in our good and bad times. they help to keep us accountable. and are there when we just need to talk. i really learned about true friendship and how people will show up for you when you least expect it. and its totally biblical too. i mean Jesus had 12 close friends. and even in that group of friends, he had 3 guys he always was with. it's a clear picture of relationships. God calls us to be with people, to be in community, and to have fellowship, and i loved it.
reliance on the Lord. that's what i think i really learned. realizing that God has a plan for my life and i'm in on the ride of a lifetime. and by not having fear of the future or doubt is allowing me to catch glimpses of that. i made a list in my journal on one of my last days of the trip, here's a few:
-God speaks in solitude
-God shows up in many ways, and is not at all limited
-The God in chicago is the same one everywhere else
-God is pursuing billions of people intimately
-He is there even when we don't feel Him there
-kids my age all over the nation are following Him and seeking out who He is
-you can have non ministry jobs, but be the best at if for the Lord
-freedom in life comes from being in tune with our maker
goodness. joy. peace. happiness. those are the things i feel in life. even in times when i'm sad (which don't happen very often), i can still manage to pull out the good in them. and it's because of what God's doing in my life. it's because he pulled me out of my filth, brushed the dirt of my jeans, and sent me on my way. i write today a man who is currently pursuing a God in which i have no clue just how powerful He is, but am willing to go the distance to find out.
this trip brought a new, and fresh perspective on life for me. it showed me that to be a follower of christ involves spending time in prayer daily. a prayer life is one key thing to seeing who God is more. making the words not just meaningless or routine, but genuine and from the spirit. spending time in the word is another huge part for me. there are so many books out there that tell us how to live, or the right way to do things, and all those perspectives are great, but i'm learning more and more that i need to spend more time in God's word before running to others. and i've said this multiple times before, but really trusting that the Lord has what's best for me. that he has my life already planned out, and that He only has great things planned for me the more and more i rely on Him.
and i've come to the realization that there is NO way to redo this trip exactly. everything that just happened won't happen again like it did. this once in a lifetime trip was just that.
i laughed. i wept. i found solitude. i saw beauty. i sang. i enjoyed fellowship with friends. i saw mountains. i drove thru deserts. i swam in the atlantic and the pacific. i went from the midwest, to the eastcoast, down to the south, to the west, and back again. i wouldn't change one thing about my trip and i'm so thankful to the Lord for letting me have the opportunity to do this.
so, for the last time. in case i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
day 26. time for the journey home.
and so that's it. the last night of my epic roadtrip. this last week was great! i was up in vail, colorado hanging out with my buddy jim rabun(not to be confused with jim rayburn, the founder of young life lol). his life right now is the definition of "living the dream". during the season, he works up on the mountain. cafeteria, driving the ice trucks, and in this sweet hot dog shop up in the trails. in the mornings he wakes up and him and his buddies are the first ones to hit the slopes. which makes for some super stellar rides with fresh powder. then they work all day, and according to them it doesn't even feel like work. then they come down from the mountain and go back to their places and hangout. and that's what they do. all. winter. long. freaking sweet! it's seriously is awesome and almost tempting to do myself..but of course school is more on the front line now.
anyways, long story short, vail was awesome. and even though i didn't get to hit up the slopes because the season was over, it was awesome seeing jimbo and hearing about what the Lord is doing in his life right now, even though the place he was at is definitely one where struggles happen big time.
so after leaving colorado i took off for the great state of kansas. which had to be both the best and worst drive of my trip haha. the first few hours were great because i was driving through the canyons of east colorado, but then i got into kansas. oh lord help me. kansas is nothing but flatlands and fields. farmers and crops. emptiness and roads that go on forever. but it was still totally awesome! i enjoyed being in the car and stopping every now and then to check out random kansas hotspots. like a gas station. a truckstop. a mall. oh, and KU! because even though kansas has it's sketch parts, one great area is lawrence, where my friends mj and sarah were at!
KU was great. its funny, because even though kansas is flatlands throughout most of the state, KU's campus is right on a hill. which was great for walking and getting uber tired after 5 minutes haha. i stayed in mj's place, which was just a bunch of YL guys livig together under one roof. it was pretty awesome. i didn't pull into KU until around 11:30 so i was pretty beat and didn't do too much on that day. but the next day was sweet, sarah and me went to a brunch for kids that travel overseas. a big fancy meal were people were kinda dressy, and there i was in jorts and a tshirt looking like i just walked out of the wilderness haha. but it was still very enjoyable, mainly because i didn't give a turd what any of those people thought.
the rest of the day was pretty chill. sarah gave me a nice walking tour of the campus and then i went back to mj's place to hangout while everyone was in class. it was great getting some alone time while not being in the car. i just watched tv and lounged out, which is exactly what i needed at the time.
that night i had a chance to get yet another glimpse of the Lord at work, and that was through College Life. For those who aren't sure College Life is (because i wasn't even sure until i went), its pretty much just like high school YL but for college aged kids. it's led by college students and a few leaders. its basically an outreach for college kids, which is uber awesome. i was able to see kids my age who know the Lord interact with kids who don't know the Lord that are the same age! it was crazy! and everything was run exactly the way it is with the high school kids! games, skits, songs, and a talk. it was great to see the Lord doing work with the kids in lawrence at that level. i also got a chance to hangout with my friend taylor, which was awesome because even though she's 2 years younger than me, and i've only hung out with her a couple times, it felt like we knew each other pretty well!
so that's colorado and kansas for ya. it was a great wrap-up to my trip. i'll have one last post doing a final look back on my trip and all the awesome things i've learned and come to figure out in the last 4 weeks.
biscuits and eggs folks.
anyways, long story short, vail was awesome. and even though i didn't get to hit up the slopes because the season was over, it was awesome seeing jimbo and hearing about what the Lord is doing in his life right now, even though the place he was at is definitely one where struggles happen big time.
so after leaving colorado i took off for the great state of kansas. which had to be both the best and worst drive of my trip haha. the first few hours were great because i was driving through the canyons of east colorado, but then i got into kansas. oh lord help me. kansas is nothing but flatlands and fields. farmers and crops. emptiness and roads that go on forever. but it was still totally awesome! i enjoyed being in the car and stopping every now and then to check out random kansas hotspots. like a gas station. a truckstop. a mall. oh, and KU! because even though kansas has it's sketch parts, one great area is lawrence, where my friends mj and sarah were at!
KU was great. its funny, because even though kansas is flatlands throughout most of the state, KU's campus is right on a hill. which was great for walking and getting uber tired after 5 minutes haha. i stayed in mj's place, which was just a bunch of YL guys livig together under one roof. it was pretty awesome. i didn't pull into KU until around 11:30 so i was pretty beat and didn't do too much on that day. but the next day was sweet, sarah and me went to a brunch for kids that travel overseas. a big fancy meal were people were kinda dressy, and there i was in jorts and a tshirt looking like i just walked out of the wilderness haha. but it was still very enjoyable, mainly because i didn't give a turd what any of those people thought.
the rest of the day was pretty chill. sarah gave me a nice walking tour of the campus and then i went back to mj's place to hangout while everyone was in class. it was great getting some alone time while not being in the car. i just watched tv and lounged out, which is exactly what i needed at the time.
that night i had a chance to get yet another glimpse of the Lord at work, and that was through College Life. For those who aren't sure College Life is (because i wasn't even sure until i went), its pretty much just like high school YL but for college aged kids. it's led by college students and a few leaders. its basically an outreach for college kids, which is uber awesome. i was able to see kids my age who know the Lord interact with kids who don't know the Lord that are the same age! it was crazy! and everything was run exactly the way it is with the high school kids! games, skits, songs, and a talk. it was great to see the Lord doing work with the kids in lawrence at that level. i also got a chance to hangout with my friend taylor, which was awesome because even though she's 2 years younger than me, and i've only hung out with her a couple times, it felt like we knew each other pretty well!
so that's colorado and kansas for ya. it was a great wrap-up to my trip. i'll have one last post doing a final look back on my trip and all the awesome things i've learned and come to figure out in the last 4 weeks.
biscuits and eggs folks.
Monday, April 26, 2010
day 23. goodbye california :(
so ends my tour of california. it's been a great run, but sadly all good things must come to an end. i finished off my last few days at woodleaf (which for those of you who don't know is a younglife camp in north cali), and chico up in north cali. woodleaf was great because even though its been almost a year since i've been through there, it feels like its only been a few weeks. it almost felt like home to me, which is wierd but cool at the same time. i think a huge part of that is because i was able to do some serious growing while i was there over the summer.
this weekend at woodleaf there was an all men's conference going on. It was funny seeing a bunch of men running around camp instead of high school and middle school kids. and as i was walking down towards the beach, a random dude walked up to me. no idea who he was, but he said, "hey brother, what congregation are you with?!". of course i had no clue what he was talking about at the time so i said, "i'm with the road travels from chicago congregation!" which of course confused the crap outta him haha. but then i explained what exactly that meant, and he told me all about the weekend. it was really cool talking to Jim because he was really genuine in asking about my life and hearing about what my trip was all about. and equally for me, it was cool to hear about where God had taken Jim as a pastor throughout his life. how he had lived in chicago, near naperville, then moved around the country. How his daughter met an indian boy and married him, which of course brought about a 20 minute convo on my heritage and family background. but throughout our hour long conversation, the best part had to be how he ended it. he said, "well brother, considering i probably won't see you again until we meet in heaven, i guess this is good-bye. what can i be praying for?"
and that's what really hit me. that interation right there. i won't see you again until heaven, but what can i pray for. a simple phrase that has deep meaning to it. this guy has a deep understanding of what being a christian looks like. to the point where he'll walk up to strangers and learn about their lives and pray for them. because ultimately that's what Jesus was about wasn't it? isn't that the kind of way he did his ministry? i feel like a majority of people Jesus came in contact with during his ministry were random people that He got to know, love, and care for. But he didn't see them for very long. Those people he met with and interacted with got glimpes of a perfect and amazing man. They got glimpes of a better life, one where love and compassion is the main foundation.
what would our lives look like if we did that daily? what if we were to show people glimpses of Christ in the most basic of interactions? in the same way Jim did to me? think about how many people we pass by in a day. think about how many people you say hi to in a day. think about how many people you actually have conversations with in a day. now imagine showing each and everyone of those person's a clear picture of Christ and how that could affect them. pretty gnarly right?
so yea, woodleaf was great basically haha. and chico was sweet too. i got to hang out with ryan and ben. it was awesome because on my last night in Cali i went roller-skating haha. totally rad. it just goes to show you're never too old to enjoy yourself in that way.
so now it's off to colorado to hangout with my buddy jimbo. gonna be shweeet. later.
this weekend at woodleaf there was an all men's conference going on. It was funny seeing a bunch of men running around camp instead of high school and middle school kids. and as i was walking down towards the beach, a random dude walked up to me. no idea who he was, but he said, "hey brother, what congregation are you with?!". of course i had no clue what he was talking about at the time so i said, "i'm with the road travels from chicago congregation!" which of course confused the crap outta him haha. but then i explained what exactly that meant, and he told me all about the weekend. it was really cool talking to Jim because he was really genuine in asking about my life and hearing about what my trip was all about. and equally for me, it was cool to hear about where God had taken Jim as a pastor throughout his life. how he had lived in chicago, near naperville, then moved around the country. How his daughter met an indian boy and married him, which of course brought about a 20 minute convo on my heritage and family background. but throughout our hour long conversation, the best part had to be how he ended it. he said, "well brother, considering i probably won't see you again until we meet in heaven, i guess this is good-bye. what can i be praying for?"
and that's what really hit me. that interation right there. i won't see you again until heaven, but what can i pray for. a simple phrase that has deep meaning to it. this guy has a deep understanding of what being a christian looks like. to the point where he'll walk up to strangers and learn about their lives and pray for them. because ultimately that's what Jesus was about wasn't it? isn't that the kind of way he did his ministry? i feel like a majority of people Jesus came in contact with during his ministry were random people that He got to know, love, and care for. But he didn't see them for very long. Those people he met with and interacted with got glimpes of a perfect and amazing man. They got glimpes of a better life, one where love and compassion is the main foundation.
what would our lives look like if we did that daily? what if we were to show people glimpses of Christ in the most basic of interactions? in the same way Jim did to me? think about how many people we pass by in a day. think about how many people you say hi to in a day. think about how many people you actually have conversations with in a day. now imagine showing each and everyone of those person's a clear picture of Christ and how that could affect them. pretty gnarly right?
so yea, woodleaf was great basically haha. and chico was sweet too. i got to hang out with ryan and ben. it was awesome because on my last night in Cali i went roller-skating haha. totally rad. it just goes to show you're never too old to enjoy yourself in that way.
so now it's off to colorado to hangout with my buddy jimbo. gonna be shweeet. later.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
day 21. cali love.
so after an awesome time in malibu with my boy jj, i left for santa barbara to hangout with my amazing friend from workcrew, kailey vanderbaan. santa barbara is a beautiful place sandwiched between mountains and the pacific blue. as always, i was able to see the Lord working again. This time at kailey's leader meeting for younglife. it was fun meeting new people and getting to see how "productive" young life meetings can be. and i put that in quotes because when i say productive, i mean the complete opposite haha. every other sentence was a funny joke, or someone being witty, which was totally awesome and exactly the way meetings should be. it's always lame if its just quiet and right to the point. gotta mix it up everyonce in a while, ya know?
we also got a chance to go out to this pier out on the ocean, which was mindblowing. i would def put santa barbara on the top 3 spots of my trip.
after leaving the sunny shores of SB, i headed up north to sacramento to hang out with my friend from woodleaf, trevor ganz. trev was a sound tech while i was a ridge runner wrangler. we had a chance to really talk about younglife, since he just got on staff, which was exactly what i needed. he told me all the good, the bad, and the ugly things about being on staff. it was great to hear all of that because it really gave me a new perspective on being a yl leader. i mean, i've heard it from my leaders back home, but not in this full detail. plus its always good to hear from outside perspectives. one thing we did that was supergnarly was play frisbee golf on the capital. yea thats right, the capital building in sacramento. haha. it was pretty rad. i also got a chance to hang out with my summerstaff boss kevin eastway, and one of the other wranglers, val deroos. and it was great to see them!
one thing i'm really pulling away from hanging out with trevor is trust. learning to trust that the Lord is working in huge and unexplainable ways. we may not be able to see all that is going on, but we have to be faithfull to the path He is leading us on. Even when times get rough, and when we feel like giving up, i've realized more and more that God is so present just as much there as He is when we're on the mountains.
next stop is woodleaf and chico! chicka chicka yea.
we also got a chance to go out to this pier out on the ocean, which was mindblowing. i would def put santa barbara on the top 3 spots of my trip.
after leaving the sunny shores of SB, i headed up north to sacramento to hang out with my friend from woodleaf, trevor ganz. trev was a sound tech while i was a ridge runner wrangler. we had a chance to really talk about younglife, since he just got on staff, which was exactly what i needed. he told me all the good, the bad, and the ugly things about being on staff. it was great to hear all of that because it really gave me a new perspective on being a yl leader. i mean, i've heard it from my leaders back home, but not in this full detail. plus its always good to hear from outside perspectives. one thing we did that was supergnarly was play frisbee golf on the capital. yea thats right, the capital building in sacramento. haha. it was pretty rad. i also got a chance to hang out with my summerstaff boss kevin eastway, and one of the other wranglers, val deroos. and it was great to see them!
one thing i'm really pulling away from hanging out with trevor is trust. learning to trust that the Lord is working in huge and unexplainable ways. we may not be able to see all that is going on, but we have to be faithfull to the path He is leading us on. Even when times get rough, and when we feel like giving up, i've realized more and more that God is so present just as much there as He is when we're on the mountains.
next stop is woodleaf and chico! chicka chicka yea.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Day 16. the peak.
wow. here i am. a few hours ago i pulled into the santa monica pier. it was about 8:30 at night. there was no one else in sight on the beach. in the distance i saw the santa monica boardwalk. big ferris wheel and lots of rides. and in front of me with just enough light on the moon...the pacific ocean. 2,179 miles away from home, i finally made it. its funny, because in a way, it almost feels like the peak of my trip. and don't worry for you guys who i already visited, i LOVED all of your places. but i never imagined actually getting in a car and making it to california, and here i am, sitting on the beach. listening to the waves hit the beach with a cool wind coming from the north. amazing. beauty. calmness.
its exactly the kind of calmness that allows me to think. no distractions. just me and the open air. i had the opportunity to go to Joshua Tree here in cali today, and it was beyond belief. i climbed up a mountain peak and just sat there looking around. not a building in sight. just valleys, mountain peaks, and deserts. amazing. i love that even though humans have taken over and destroyed so much beauty in this world, there are still glimpses of it all around us, we just have to take the time to notice it.
so i'm here in cali and is going to be awesome! i'm going down to san clemente tomorrow to go to the rainbow factory, and then up to santa barbara to hang out with my great friend kailey! its gonna be an awesome day just driving along the coast.
and tonight i had a chance to hang out with my old friend from high school jj. he goes to school at pepperdine in malibu, which of course i thought was up in north cali haha. stupid me. but it great to see him and catch up a little. its funny, cause jj is always a guy i have looked up to. and since he's a year older than me, i've always been able to see where he is at a point in his life and compare it to mine a year behind. for instance, jj is at a point now where he is deciding exactly where God is taking him after he graduates. in his case, he is taking the road less traveled. the one he might not be as comfortable with, but he is still taking it nonetheless. which is an amazing testimony to faith in where the Lord can take someone. he's going to do film-making out here in LA, which first off sounds freakin' sweet, but he said something interesting yesterday. he said not everyone is called to travel the road of ministry, because the Lord not only calls us to do well in that and be Christ-like, but be the best in whatever we do and still be that way. i'm learning more and more that you can work hard in everything you do, and still glorify the Lord in every way.
and i look at my life, and throughout the last few weeks i wonder that same thing. where is it that i'm going in my life that will allow me to be the best at what i do, and still glorify the Lord? of course, i've already expressed that ministry is what i feel most called to do, but why? is it because its an easier path? the one traveled more? and i feel that the answer to those questions are no. it is by no means an easy path to travel. it is long, hard, and tiresome. but it glorifies the Lord, and shows people how amazing the gospel really is in a real and raw way, and that's the goal here.
on a completely different level, i've decided to delete my facebook page. a good friend of mine just did that, and says that the amount of time she has now is amazing. its really funny just how much of a distraction something as simple as facebook can be. i guarantee that if you're reading this right now, you're facebook page is open on another tab. i waste time on it when i could be doing a million other things. i would love to be at place where its just a casual thing, but as of right now, its more of a distraction that doesn't need to be in place. so after i come back from my trip, i'm just gonna delete it.
so yea, that's where i'm at right now. i'm loving the sunny cali weather, and i'm pumped for this next week as i travel up the coast! laters.
its exactly the kind of calmness that allows me to think. no distractions. just me and the open air. i had the opportunity to go to Joshua Tree here in cali today, and it was beyond belief. i climbed up a mountain peak and just sat there looking around. not a building in sight. just valleys, mountain peaks, and deserts. amazing. i love that even though humans have taken over and destroyed so much beauty in this world, there are still glimpses of it all around us, we just have to take the time to notice it.
so i'm here in cali and is going to be awesome! i'm going down to san clemente tomorrow to go to the rainbow factory, and then up to santa barbara to hang out with my great friend kailey! its gonna be an awesome day just driving along the coast.
and tonight i had a chance to hang out with my old friend from high school jj. he goes to school at pepperdine in malibu, which of course i thought was up in north cali haha. stupid me. but it great to see him and catch up a little. its funny, cause jj is always a guy i have looked up to. and since he's a year older than me, i've always been able to see where he is at a point in his life and compare it to mine a year behind. for instance, jj is at a point now where he is deciding exactly where God is taking him after he graduates. in his case, he is taking the road less traveled. the one he might not be as comfortable with, but he is still taking it nonetheless. which is an amazing testimony to faith in where the Lord can take someone. he's going to do film-making out here in LA, which first off sounds freakin' sweet, but he said something interesting yesterday. he said not everyone is called to travel the road of ministry, because the Lord not only calls us to do well in that and be Christ-like, but be the best in whatever we do and still be that way. i'm learning more and more that you can work hard in everything you do, and still glorify the Lord in every way.
and i look at my life, and throughout the last few weeks i wonder that same thing. where is it that i'm going in my life that will allow me to be the best at what i do, and still glorify the Lord? of course, i've already expressed that ministry is what i feel most called to do, but why? is it because its an easier path? the one traveled more? and i feel that the answer to those questions are no. it is by no means an easy path to travel. it is long, hard, and tiresome. but it glorifies the Lord, and shows people how amazing the gospel really is in a real and raw way, and that's the goal here.
on a completely different level, i've decided to delete my facebook page. a good friend of mine just did that, and says that the amount of time she has now is amazing. its really funny just how much of a distraction something as simple as facebook can be. i guarantee that if you're reading this right now, you're facebook page is open on another tab. i waste time on it when i could be doing a million other things. i would love to be at place where its just a casual thing, but as of right now, its more of a distraction that doesn't need to be in place. so after i come back from my trip, i'm just gonna delete it.
so yea, that's where i'm at right now. i'm loving the sunny cali weather, and i'm pumped for this next week as i travel up the coast! laters.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
day 14. who knew panda express actually had sweet fortunes?
"any doubts you may have will disappear this month..."
i went to panda express for lunch. and i'm not big on fortune cookies. but i figured, eh what the heck, i'll eat one this time around. didn't even look at the actual fortune until after i ate the cookie. and THIS is what it had said. what?! my initial reaction was laughter, cause i mean seriously, i'm out here trying to figure out things in life and the main word i keep using is DOUBT, and here comes a fortune cookie from panda express saying doubt will disappear. huh? excuse me? now i'm not saying that this is some crazy prophetic thing, i just think its pretty freaking baller that i got that fortune. and who can actually rule out in what way God speaks to us? there's no law, rule, or anything written saying messages can't come in any way, shape, or form. most atheists at this point would say, "yea, that's just total coincidence. no meaning to it. no purpose. just sheer, dumb, luck."
but what if it's more than that? (and in case your wondering, i'm not talking about the fortune cookie anymore). what if there actually is some sort of "God" out there who ultimately has everything in control? what if He knows all that has happened in our past? all the crap we've gone thru, all the suffering, all the mistakes...who knows our present? what we go thru today, what we struggle with, what we're good at...and who knows our future? where our jobs are gonna be, where we'll live, who we'll marry..that kinda stuff. i mean, i find it hard to believe that this world we live in just happened outta nowhere. i think there HAD to be some sort of reason and rhyme to it?
i had an awesome opportunity to climb a mountain today right behind my friend's house. took me a good 45 minutes to get to the top, but man when i got up there......words can't express what i saw, but i'll try to do it some justice. at the base of the mountain up to a few acres past, i saw nothing but green. plants, trees....beauty. and then a few acres past were some houses, but the green beauty still sat there. a few acres past that was a few smaller subdivisions, and the green beauty was there, but started to fade. past that were some more subdivisions spread over a wider area. and then from there i saw houses after houses after houses, with restaurants, gas stations, car dealerships, schools, starbucks at every corner, grocery stores. by now i'm looking at least 2-3 miles past the base of this amazing mountain and now i see the entire phoenix skyline. and it was cool. but what was crazy here is that from where i was sitting, all the way to the downtown skyline, there was a gradual change.
but you know what? there was no more green. no more trees. no more plants. no more beauty. just modern day society, going about its business as usual. lawyers going to win cases, business men trying to see how they can squeeze out the next dollar, parents dropping their 2 and 3 year olds off at daycare so they could go to work all day, therapists charging hundreds of dollars for a 30 minute "help session", students going to school to study hard and become successful in life, doctors going into hospitals to help people fight death a little longer(and i want to make it very clear that i am in no way saying that these are bad things, i'm just making an observation of it. there is nothing wrong with working hard for a purpse.).....an old lady getting her purse stolen, someone getting car-jacked, 3 bullies beating up a little kid for his money, a man getting shot in cold blood for a few hundred dollars outta his wallet. evil mean threatening our world daily. terrorists blowing up buildings. children being used as work slaves. kidnapped teens being pushed into sex trafficking and unable to get out. drug users being so deep into their "stuff" that they don't see a way out. pain. hurt. suffering. a broken world.
(this is long, but hang in there, i'm getting to the point.)
so maybe the doubts i have about life go beyond just myself. maybe there's doubt about seeing EVERY human on the planet loved, or sheltered, or even given a meal. maybe there's doubts that we can be a world that won't kill each other to gain something. maybe there's doubt about living in a world that won't kill the innocent. maybe there's doubt about living in a world where everyone is looking out for their own needs....if i'm sounding like a total downer here, don't sweat it, thats my point. if these few words about our harsh reality are sinking in with you, thats a good thing. it means there is still some soul left in you that the world hasn't sucked out of you yet.
i would doubt all of this.....if it wasn't for believing that there's a reason to all of it. and that there is a "God" out there who has a bigger, and better plan. one that i can't see now, but if i follow it, i can help to change things. so when i doubt things, i'm initially doubting a plan that has been in the making for thousands of years. and even though i think all of that beauty is gone, i can still see it. not in the landscape, but in other ways. like the smile of an old lady after a young man finds and brings her purse back, or a kid being comforted by his loving father after getting beaten up and told "i love you son, and you did nothing wrong." or a doctor bringing a man who had been shot in cold blood back to life. or a country coming together after some evil men do some terrible things. how about the lawyer that fights for the freedom of women trapped in sex-trafficking? or a business man making an extra dollar to buy a child out of slave labor? and what about the therapist who gives out free sessions to post-rehab drug users on the weekends?
see that? see that there is still so much good to find in this broken world of ours? i love the fact that we have the capacity to love beyond our own comprehension, and we're given the ability to help in every way, shape, and form. my way of doing it is gonna be thru ministry.
so panda express fortune. what do you mean when you talk about doubts? do they pertain to the rest of this trip? my summer? my job? my school? i'd like to think that those "doubts that will disappear this month" are seeming less and less about my own future, and more about the future of this world of ours. and i have a hunch that the "big-guy" upstairs has some pretty radical and awesome things in store for my future. lets just leave it at that...goodnight :)
i went to panda express for lunch. and i'm not big on fortune cookies. but i figured, eh what the heck, i'll eat one this time around. didn't even look at the actual fortune until after i ate the cookie. and THIS is what it had said. what?! my initial reaction was laughter, cause i mean seriously, i'm out here trying to figure out things in life and the main word i keep using is DOUBT, and here comes a fortune cookie from panda express saying doubt will disappear. huh? excuse me? now i'm not saying that this is some crazy prophetic thing, i just think its pretty freaking baller that i got that fortune. and who can actually rule out in what way God speaks to us? there's no law, rule, or anything written saying messages can't come in any way, shape, or form. most atheists at this point would say, "yea, that's just total coincidence. no meaning to it. no purpose. just sheer, dumb, luck."
but what if it's more than that? (and in case your wondering, i'm not talking about the fortune cookie anymore). what if there actually is some sort of "God" out there who ultimately has everything in control? what if He knows all that has happened in our past? all the crap we've gone thru, all the suffering, all the mistakes...who knows our present? what we go thru today, what we struggle with, what we're good at...and who knows our future? where our jobs are gonna be, where we'll live, who we'll marry..that kinda stuff. i mean, i find it hard to believe that this world we live in just happened outta nowhere. i think there HAD to be some sort of reason and rhyme to it?
i had an awesome opportunity to climb a mountain today right behind my friend's house. took me a good 45 minutes to get to the top, but man when i got up there......words can't express what i saw, but i'll try to do it some justice. at the base of the mountain up to a few acres past, i saw nothing but green. plants, trees....beauty. and then a few acres past were some houses, but the green beauty still sat there. a few acres past that was a few smaller subdivisions, and the green beauty was there, but started to fade. past that were some more subdivisions spread over a wider area. and then from there i saw houses after houses after houses, with restaurants, gas stations, car dealerships, schools, starbucks at every corner, grocery stores. by now i'm looking at least 2-3 miles past the base of this amazing mountain and now i see the entire phoenix skyline. and it was cool. but what was crazy here is that from where i was sitting, all the way to the downtown skyline, there was a gradual change.
but you know what? there was no more green. no more trees. no more plants. no more beauty. just modern day society, going about its business as usual. lawyers going to win cases, business men trying to see how they can squeeze out the next dollar, parents dropping their 2 and 3 year olds off at daycare so they could go to work all day, therapists charging hundreds of dollars for a 30 minute "help session", students going to school to study hard and become successful in life, doctors going into hospitals to help people fight death a little longer(and i want to make it very clear that i am in no way saying that these are bad things, i'm just making an observation of it. there is nothing wrong with working hard for a purpse.).....an old lady getting her purse stolen, someone getting car-jacked, 3 bullies beating up a little kid for his money, a man getting shot in cold blood for a few hundred dollars outta his wallet. evil mean threatening our world daily. terrorists blowing up buildings. children being used as work slaves. kidnapped teens being pushed into sex trafficking and unable to get out. drug users being so deep into their "stuff" that they don't see a way out. pain. hurt. suffering. a broken world.
(this is long, but hang in there, i'm getting to the point.)
so maybe the doubts i have about life go beyond just myself. maybe there's doubt about seeing EVERY human on the planet loved, or sheltered, or even given a meal. maybe there's doubts that we can be a world that won't kill each other to gain something. maybe there's doubt about living in a world that won't kill the innocent. maybe there's doubt about living in a world where everyone is looking out for their own needs....if i'm sounding like a total downer here, don't sweat it, thats my point. if these few words about our harsh reality are sinking in with you, thats a good thing. it means there is still some soul left in you that the world hasn't sucked out of you yet.
i would doubt all of this.....if it wasn't for believing that there's a reason to all of it. and that there is a "God" out there who has a bigger, and better plan. one that i can't see now, but if i follow it, i can help to change things. so when i doubt things, i'm initially doubting a plan that has been in the making for thousands of years. and even though i think all of that beauty is gone, i can still see it. not in the landscape, but in other ways. like the smile of an old lady after a young man finds and brings her purse back, or a kid being comforted by his loving father after getting beaten up and told "i love you son, and you did nothing wrong." or a doctor bringing a man who had been shot in cold blood back to life. or a country coming together after some evil men do some terrible things. how about the lawyer that fights for the freedom of women trapped in sex-trafficking? or a business man making an extra dollar to buy a child out of slave labor? and what about the therapist who gives out free sessions to post-rehab drug users on the weekends?
see that? see that there is still so much good to find in this broken world of ours? i love the fact that we have the capacity to love beyond our own comprehension, and we're given the ability to help in every way, shape, and form. my way of doing it is gonna be thru ministry.
so panda express fortune. what do you mean when you talk about doubts? do they pertain to the rest of this trip? my summer? my job? my school? i'd like to think that those "doubts that will disappear this month" are seeming less and less about my own future, and more about the future of this world of ours. and i have a hunch that the "big-guy" upstairs has some pretty radical and awesome things in store for my future. lets just leave it at that...goodnight :)
Friday, April 16, 2010
day 13. arizona. the land of big rocks.
heyyo from tempe, arizona! i'm here with my friends amy, jamie, and nick! i got here only a few hours ago, but already i've been having an awesome time!
so i left A&M yesterday and headed for middle of nowhere in west texas for the night. the drive was absolutely fantastic, and whoever said west texas is a "barren wasteland from hell" was waaayyyy off the mark! it was seriously really cool. i stopped in van horn, texas to crash for the night. it was a small town, i mean realllllyyy small. about the size of my thumb. haha. just kidding. but seriously. it was. crashed for the night at this pink motel, owned by indians thankfully. and they hooked it up with a king size room for only $29 bucks! whatta deal. gotta love that race card haha. i also had a chance to eat at this little mexican restaurant called "chuy's." it was a little hole in the wall, but man was it good food! plus, it's really really famous. john madden, steve nash, dan marino, carrot top, and a few other celebrities have made their way into this tiny little food joint. crazy, i know.
so i got a great night of sleep and left this morning for tempe. it was crazy because in one day, i was in THREE different time zones. haha. it was awesome.
so i'm pumped for AZ and just hanging out with old friends, and making some new ones too! i'll report back to ya soon! thanks for checking in. sush out.
so i left A&M yesterday and headed for middle of nowhere in west texas for the night. the drive was absolutely fantastic, and whoever said west texas is a "barren wasteland from hell" was waaayyyy off the mark! it was seriously really cool. i stopped in van horn, texas to crash for the night. it was a small town, i mean realllllyyy small. about the size of my thumb. haha. just kidding. but seriously. it was. crashed for the night at this pink motel, owned by indians thankfully. and they hooked it up with a king size room for only $29 bucks! whatta deal. gotta love that race card haha. i also had a chance to eat at this little mexican restaurant called "chuy's." it was a little hole in the wall, but man was it good food! plus, it's really really famous. john madden, steve nash, dan marino, carrot top, and a few other celebrities have made their way into this tiny little food joint. crazy, i know.
so i got a great night of sleep and left this morning for tempe. it was crazy because in one day, i was in THREE different time zones. haha. it was awesome.
so i'm pumped for AZ and just hanging out with old friends, and making some new ones too! i'll report back to ya soon! thanks for checking in. sush out.
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