day 11. A&M. baller baby.

holler from texas A&M. i love being here. its freaking shweeet.

so last we left off, i was hanging out at texas A&M with the great summerstaff boys from woodleaf, and it was awesome. its funny how i've only been gone for 2 weeks, and it feels more like 2 months. i honestly feel like ohio and north carolina happened forever ago. but yea, A&M is great. what i love most about it is the fact that its nothing but chilling out the entire time. i literally have been bumming around, playing video games, watching tv, and getting to play soccer for a few hours a day. its absolutely perfect and exactly what i need for the time. i had been running around and doing all kinds of other things at all my other places, that it was kinda nice to be able to chill out and make time slow down. best part about brett's house...the 130 inch projector screen. playing fifa 10' on that baby, freakin' awesome.

something really cool that i got to do as well was just take some time away from it all. i stayed an extra day longer in texas than i did the other days, so i had a real chance to be alone. and this time not just alone in my car. i went for a walk tonight and went to a park. it was around 11 @ night...crazy cause all the awesome stuff seems to keep happening at night lol.

so there i was at this park, and i climbed up the jungle gym and just looked at the stars for a little bit. no music. no people. no lights. another amazing opportunity for me to just spend with the Lord. wanna hear the crazy part? after all my talk last week, about feeling spiritually moved, and this "mountain top" feeling as we so cleverly call it, i wasn't at it anymore. problem? i think not. because the spirit was still moving inside me, even tho there was no "emotional high" to it.

something i've realized more and more is that faith is more than just those emotions and feelings. i mean yea, its great to have that, because thats when you can tell the spirit is really moving you. but its so much more than that. its about realizing who were really linked up to here. its about knowing who our creator is and being in a close and intimate relationship with Him.

and something really awesome about this trip is realizing just how many distractions i really have in my life that prevent me from seeing that at its raw core. school. family. friends. work. my own selfish needs and wants. these are things that i keep letting me get torn off from what i truly believe. something i want to and NEED to see when i go back home, back to the norm of things, is a drastic way in the way i live, especially if i want to go on to be a YL leader. but that is a difficult path for me, because sometimes i have tendencies to slip into old habits. things i thought i rid myself of a long time ago.

its funny, because time and time again, i find myself in this wierd/unhealthy pattern where i'll realize these things, but continue to go back to what i know i struggle with. its in our weak moments like this that we need to really rely on a strength outside of our own. i love that people are reading this who may not believe the same way, or may be completely unaware of what i'm talking about. and for you guys, please ask...ask me where this is all coming from. ask me why i do the things i do. why i act the way i do. or why i have tendencies to slip and fall. because lets not forget, although i am striving for a life that involves some struggles, i am human. and there is always room for error in human ways. there was only one dude who was perfect in every way, shape, and form, and that's the J-man.

so basically, that night in the park was great. it helped me to really see where i need to adjust things in my own life. onto tempe, arizona tomorrow! gonna be awesome to see some super stellar people there! i'm pumped. over and out.